27 and I'm ready for more MISTAKES

I had a "mini" midlife crisis - slash - mental breakdown 3 months ago.
(Now that's a dramatic overstatement. I simply slept about 5 minutes less every night, busy thinking about random miscellaneous things.)

That was when I just came back from Nepal the 2nd time. That was also when I realized 3 months & 3 years from then, I would be 30. And there were still so many things in my bucket list that I hadn't done yet. (No offense to my 30+ years old friends. I'm not saying 30 is the expiration date. It's just that, to me, personally, there are a lot of things I would like to do that would probably turn into a mistake. But hey! I'm in my 20's. People in their 20's make mistakes. That's what we do. - Yep! As lame as it sounds, I'm planning to use my age as my excuse. Apparently that excuse will expire 3 years from now!)

So I confided to my mom. She sighed "You're almost 30 and you're still not married yet," which made me laugh hysterically for a good 5 minutes - "Mom, it's actually one thing that I'm relieved about. No string attached!" ;) She sighed even louder "When I was your age, I already had you & your brother." ~ "Well, Mom, I very much appreciate the fact that you decided to give birth to me at that time. But I just don't think I'm myself ready for such commitment yet." 

So I brought my burden to my best friend. She, like my mom, sighed & said "I actually feel the same too. Time is passing by so fast & I haven't achieved my dreams yet either." Though we had different dreams, we understood exactly how the other felt. We sat in silence for 10 minutes. We felt old. And that's not right! We were 26 and we felt old!

That was the moment I realized - and this might sound super cliche - that I've been living in a socially constructed cycle: Go to school - Try to do well at school every semester - Graduate - Find a job - Try to do well at work every day - Go home. Now, don't get me wrong! I love my job! I love my students! I love my coworkers! I love my school! But that's just not enough. I still have this long to-do list of things that would probably turn into disasters. I HADN'T MADE ENOUGH MISTAKES YET!

I had always been that A student at school (typical Asian). I had always been that hard-working teacher who stays up to 2am doing lesson plans. I was not trying to turn into a rebel though. I just wanted to do things that would scare me a little bit, put me out of my comfort zone, and challenge me physically/ mentally/ spiritually. To be able to do that, I had to break away from the cycle. The first step was scary. Humans are risk-averse. And changes are risky.

Luckily, this summer I was given the opportunity of that first step. Things are going well so far that it looks like this summer is turning into a gap year - a year of traveling. Again, 10 years from now, when all of my friends have settled down with a family & a career, I might look back at this & regret. But hey! I'm more willing to regret that I've done something stupid than to regret that I've NOT done anything.

I'm 27. And I'm ready for more MISTAKES :)